


Two-sided coin

by Silver_ferret



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Sam, Caring Dean, Fluffy, M/M, Slow Build, Teenagers, Top Dean, smut in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_ferret/pseuds/Silver_ferret
Summary: Sam is 15 and Dean 19Sam struggles with his growing feelings for his older brother, that don't seem to be just brotherly anymore.Slow build up ♡





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Sam POV

Nervously Sam paces around in the run down motel room, that dad ranted for the three of them. He lookes down on his watch that showed 2.00 am. Dean and Dad should have been back hours ago.  
They had gone on a hunt without him leaving only a note behind, telling him that they had gone ahead, since he had still been in school, when they found a clue where the Vampire nest was, that they suspected near the town.  
Sam hated it to be left behind. Not that he missed the hunt, no it was just this nauseous feeling that took over him, when he didn't know if they would return.  
Yeah John and Dean were good hunters, but in this job you never knew, when something unexpected happend. After all there still is to be heared of a hunter who grew old.

Looking down on his watch it now showes 2.03 am. Only three minutes had passed, but it felt like an eternity for Sam. The fear that something happend to his brother and father getting bigger.  
He may have his differences with John, but he was still his father and deep down Sam loved him.  
Dean on the other side was a completly different story. Sam loved Dean with every cell of his body. Even more then he himself was aware of himself.  
His brother who had always been looking after him.  
With John always working on a new case, Dean was father and brother at the same time. He was the one that cooked for Sam, calmed him after a nightmare, when he was younger, cheered him up, when something was wrong and in generall was always there for him.

John may have loved him, but his way of showing his sons that he loved them, was spending hours and hours teaching the boys, how to kill the things that were out there.  
He may have done that under the best intention to keep his boys save, but this soldiar training lacked the warmth.  
If it hadn't been for Dean Sammy would probably not expirenced love and closeness at all.  
Dean may not be the touchy type, but he was always there when Sam needed him. Although he didn't take him into his arms sleeping next to him, like he used to, when Sam had a nightmare, he would still sit on the edge of his bed waiting till Sammy fell asleep.

This and so many other things, were the reason why Dean was the most important person in Sams life.  
He couldn't lose him. Not Dean....

Looking down on his watch, which now showes 2.10 am, he tryes to call his dad again.  
His phone seems to be still turned off or broken, as it had been the past 10 times Sam had called.  
Then suddenly Sam heares the sound of 2 pairs of feet walking to the motel room door and the lock clicking.

A slytly hurt John enters, with Dean right behind him, carring their bag of weapons. Relief washes over the younger boy, seeing his brother nearly unhurt, but quickly this feeling gets replaced by anger.

They both stopp in track, as  they see the younger brother standing in the motel room, wide awake and fully clothed.

Dean flashes him a big smile. "Hey Sammy boy, how come your still awake? Shouldn't you already be asleep dreaming about that Lisa girl or something."

Lisa Brown was the hottest girl in the school Sam was currently attending. Sam admited that she was pretty good looking, but as most other girls she barely sparked his interest. Sure there had been one or two at previous schools that had showed interest in him, but the youngest Winchester never really showed interest in them. So thoughts about Lisa Brown were far-off from the thoughts Sam had have this evening and night.

"I told you to call me Sam." the hazel eyed boy replyes annoyed and angry at the same time. "And what do you mean, why am I awake. Both of you should have been back hours ago. I come back after school, finding only a note, saying that you gone on a hunt and then I hear nothing from you for hours. Are you kidding me?! Do you know how many times I tryed to call you?!"

Dean looks a bit shocked by the outbreak of his baby brother, not knowing what to say.

John on the other hand just looks annoyed at his youngest child. "We turned the phones off, so that the ringing wouldn't warn the pests in their hideout. There where to many of them that your brother and me could have allowed any distraction, so I turned them off. You know what you would have to do, when we hadn't returned till sunrise.  
Call Bobby and let him get you. Don't act as if I hadn't prepaired you before, for this kind of situation. Don't always create problems out from nothing Sam."

"Creating problems from nothing.... you know what SREW YOU DAD." Sam angrily exclaimes striding to the the 2 smaller room, which he shared with Dean, which John had rented for them, slamming the door shut behind himself.

Feeling angry and exhausted he slumpes down on his bed, pressing his face into his pillow. A few tears that formed, because of the anger on John and relief of seeing Dean nearly unhurt spilling on his pillow.

5 minutes later he heares the door opening, when Dean comes in to join him. Sam heares Dean coming over to his bed and the coil springs of the worn down matress creaking, when his older brother sits down on the edge of his bed, laying his warm hand on Sams arm.  
A shiver runs down Sams spine, as always lately, when Dean touched him.

"Sam are you still awake?" Sam hears Dean ask, but refuses to show any signs that he was still awake. He was still to angry on dad and Dean for making him worry so much.

"I know you are angry, but I really didn't knew that dad turned of the phones. He really did it only so that these bastards wouldn't be warned by the noise of it...Still you have every reason to be angry at us." Dean says earnestly.

Still not wanting to reply, Sam continues lying as still as possible.

"I'm sorry that you had to worry so much Sammy. I am really sorry...", says Dean a sad tone swinging with his voice. Stoking sofly trough his brothers hair the older Winchester stands up, stippes of his leather jacked and lyes down on his own bed next to Sams.

After carefully wiping away the tears that had formed in his eyes, quietly with a slightly thoaty voice the younger Winchester saiys: "Never do this again Dean. Don't ever make me worry like this again..."

"Never Sammy." He heares the sad voice of his brother say, from the other bed.

Still with strikes of dried tears on his cheeks Sam falls asleep, dreaming of a world where he hadn't have to worry if his brother would return the next time he left him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here the first chapter of my first Supernatural and Winchest fanfic.  
> I hope you all like it so far and I would be extremly happy about feedback ♡
> 
> Also i am writing this on an extremly early morning and not having slept the night,so please excuse some mistakes. I will corect them as soon as I can ;)  
> I will also change the cover soon using a picture of older teenage Sam.   
> Stay tuned.  
> Love Silver ♡


	2. Chapter 2

Sams P.O.V.

The next day Sam wakes up to find his brother  slightly shaking his shoulder. 

"Come on Sammy you have to get up, breakfast is ready. I drive you to school today.", Sam hears Dean say.

Rubbing his eyes the younger Winchester slowly gets up. He feels drained and tired. This was not only, because he only got barely 4 1/2 hours of sleep, he was used to this, since they would often set off for a hunt in the middle of the night. Althrough he had to admit that lately it was harder then before, probably because he was still a growing teenanger. The main reason for his exhaustion was the worries of last night and the fight with his dad.  
Sam just didn't know how long he could still bear this life, where he never knew if his loved once would return savely or seeing his family getting hurt all the time.  
The thoughts of Dean maybe not returning from a hunt, where driving him insane.

Lately he had begun to have dreams about Dean dying more often then ever in the past.  
He saw himself and John standing in front of the funeral pyre, seeing how Deans body became smoke and ashes.  
The dream always ended the same with John laying his hand on Sams arm saying:" Come on we have a new hunt before us." 

This was always what made Sam wake up, soaked with sweat. The thought of Dean dying and everything just continuing as if he never existed.  
Not only having to continue to hunt for the rest of his life, but without his brother by his side.  
The thought about this broke the youngest Winchester inside.

He just wanted for Dean to have a happy normal save life, in which he would grow old. For them both to grow old and his brother never leaving his side.

Shaking his head to free his head from the depressing thoughts, the hazel eyed boy gets up and walks to the small bathroom of the Motel.

Ten minutes later Sam enteres the main room. Next to the small table his brother stands holding up two packets of his favorite cereals.

"Froot Loops or Captain Crunchy?", he askes a bright smile painted on his face.

Sam could feel his brother still felt bad, for making him worry so much. 

"Froot Loops.", Sam replies sitting down on one of the two chairs beside the table. 

Ripping open the package Dean beginns to purr the ceral into the bowl before the teenager. 

Bending down to get the milk out of the bag of stuff he got from the store, Deans T-shirt rides up slightly in the back revealing the skin of his lower back.  
Seeing  this Sam felt warmth spreading on his cheeks and quickly looked away.  The younger Winchester didn't get why this made him blush. Afterall he had seen Dean barechested many times before. When Sam was still really young, Dean even bathed with him. Also Dean was after all a boy and on top of that his brother.  
He really didn't understand what was wrong with him. At the beginning he had still pushed it on his teenager hormones going wild, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. None of the girls at his schools made him feel like this, even if they were really pretty.  
He never could understand the other boys his age fanning about the hottest girls in school.  
He wasn't blind and of course saw that they were pretty, but they never caused him to react the same way he did with Dean lately.  
It just confused him and he didn't know what to do with these feelings, knowing that he could never tell someone about this.

Having finally found the milk in the bag Dean gets up and purres it into the bowl with the ceral.

_______________________________________

Half an hour  later him and Dean sit in the impala, listing to a casette of Metalica.

Ariving at Sams school, the older Winchester shuts down the engine and gets out of the car. 

Pulling open the door Sam follows him. Leaning against the Impala Dean watches the upper classmen. 

"Damit Sammy you never told me that there are so many babes at your school.", Dean says his gaze looking over an especially busty upperclassmen.

"Hmm...", Sam replys feeling a slight stinging in his heart.

"Why do you care? Dean has always been like this with girls. Get over it.", he scolds himself mentally.

Slowly he starts walking to the gates of the school.

Hearing his Brother call his name he looks back over his shoulder.

"Sammy, till later. I make you, your favorite dinner today!", Dean shouts making a few of his fellow students turn their heads at him and a few girls giggeling at the sight of his brother.

Embarrassed he pulls his backpack higher speading up his pace.

_______________________________________

On lunch break he sits with Jake, a boy he befriended in his first week at school and a few of his other classmates in the cafeteria.  
As he hears them talk about how hot Lisa Brown is he focuses his attention on her, trying to understand why the other boys were going crazy over her.

He looks at here small waist, the long blond hair, pretty face and of course her well developed breasts.  
Nothing....  
She just doesn't do it for him. None of the feelings he felt, this morning with Dean, came up when he looked at her. The sparks just weren't there.

He must have zoomed out to long, because Jake started to pull on his arm  saying: "Hey Sam are you even listening?"

"Yeah, Lisa Brown is really hot.", Sam declares and Jake continues his conversation with the other boys.

Sam signs wishing he was just like them and could talk about girls the same way. Life would be so much easier for him, he thinks drifting back into his thoughts.

_______________________________________

Since his last two classes had been cancelt he is two hours earlier finished with school then normally.  
After taking the bus, he slowly walks up the road to their motel and unlocking the front door.  
Neither John nor Dean are in sight.  
When he gets nearer to his and Deans room he beginns to hear moaning and stops in his tracks.  
Slowly he creeps nearer to the door and pulls the door open a crack.  
On his bed lys Dean with a girl in her early tweentys, who moans while he thurts into her.   
When she notices Sam standing frozen in the door, she sqeauks and pushes her nails into the back of his older brother calling  Deans name.

Seeing Sam, Dean stops dead in his tracks swearing: " Shit Sammy, you shouldn't be back yet."

Still Sam can't seem to move looking from Dean, to the naked girl on his bed. He can't believe Dean brought that girl into their room and even worse that he was doing it with her on his bed.  
He feelings tears forming in his eyes, but refusing to let them fall. Looking back at his brother, he turns around and runs out of the run down motel.

Away from Dean, away from that girl that he was sleeping with, away from the thoughts in his mind that scream "Why her and not me."

As he runs he hears his brother call after him, but doesn't even look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the second chapter of my fanfic, I can't believed I wrote two days in a row.
> 
> As I said this story is slow build up, since I want to show the development of the characters.  
> Also I want to show the struggles that both characters face, so there won't be smut involved to quickly.
> 
> Also I hope you all like the new cover, I am quit proud of it (/^\\)
> 
> I hope you enjoy my story so far and would be happy if you gave me a feedback ♡


	3. Chapter 3

Dean P.O.V.

Dean knows that something was wrong, when he feels the girl, he picked up in the bar down in town, push her nails into his back. Yeah I mean a light pushing was sexy, but this seriously hurt.  
He followes her gaze that is directed to the door of the run down motel room and stops dead in his track. In the door Sam is standing, looking totally shocked.

"Shit Sammy, you shouldn't be back yet.", Dean swears.

He stares at Sam that is looking from him to the girl. Horrified Dean notices the tears that have started to from in his baby brothers eyes. He knows this time he screwed up big time and this after he and dad already had screwed up last night. He had planned to make up for this later, by cooking Sams favorite meal and now this...

Still frozen Dean watches  Sam turnimg around and running out of the motel,  only snapping back into reality after hearing the door fly shut with a loud "bang".

Quickly he scrambles out of bed, nearly falling over, trying to put on his pants, swearing:" Shit, shit, shit....Sammy wait!"

Pulling on his shirt grabing the keys of the impala, he is out of the door, hearing his "date" shout after him. He doesn't even look back after her, the only thought on his mind is Sammy and the hurt look on his face, he had when he ran out.

"Sammy, wait for me I can explain. I am sorry.", he shouts rushing out of the motel door.  
Looking around he doesn't see even a trace of his brother.

"Shit...", Dean swears out touching his head.  
'Where could that kid have run so fast?' Dean thinks. Running along the near by streets he calls for Sam, but the younger boy seems to have disapeared with out a trace. Walking back to the motel, he pulls open the doors of the impala, sitting down in the drivers seat laying his head on the  steering wheel.

"Where are you Sammy.", Dean mutters, trying to think of places Sam liked to hang out in the town.

_______________________________________

Sams P.O.V.

Waking up with a throbbing head and stinging pain in his arm, Sam's eyes take a while to adjust to the dimly lit room he is in.  
Trying to remember what happend it hits him.  
He had been upset, because he saw Dean with this girl  in his bed and when he ran out of the motel, someone had knocked him out.

Remembering this he is suddenly wide awake, his hunter instinkts turning on. Looking around Sam notices that he seems to be in an old barn handcuffed to a pole.  
With all his might he pulls on the handcuffs hoping to find a weakness and free himself, but they don't move even one inch.  
Hearing the gate of the barn rattle he stops and looking to it on high alert.  
A middle aged man clothed completly in black, staps into his field of vision.

"You can stop that sweety, you won"t get these off", he says smiling devilish.

"Who are and what do you want from me.", Sam calls out enraged.

"Oh haven't you guessed who I am yet Sweety? Your daddy and  your big brother wipped out my family after all!", he says with a calm voice, but Sam can feel the rage boiling underneath it.

"Your're one of the Vampires. I thought they wipped you all out?!", Sam says more to himself than to the man infront of him.

"Seems like the missed one. I've been on a trip and why I come back I find my family murderd by you damm hunters.", he says screaming the last words out in anger, his vampire teeth breaking through his teethridge.

A shiver runs  down Sams spine.

"So what do you want to do now, kill me to get revenge on them?", Sam says looking the monster directly in the eyes. 

"Oh no sweety that would be to easy. Don't you get it? You are my bait. It won't take them long to realize what happend especially since I left them, let's call it a note in the motel.", the vampire says with a smirk, looking down at Sams bloody arm.

"Do you really think my dad and Dean would walk that easily into a trap? When they find you they will behead you, so that you can join you dear family.", the younger Winchester says with gritted teeth.

"Oh yes they will fall into my trap. They both care for you so much, your their little boy. Especially for your dear brother Dean. I bet he is already panicking, because he can't find you, running around in the whole town", the man says laughing.

"Screw you", Sam screams pulling on his handcuffs.

"I cant wait to see there faces, when they find you here. You know I will let them watch while I kill you slowly. Then I will do the same with your brother and last but not least I will take care of your Daddy after he watched both of you die.", the creature says laughing a dryly.

"Bastard", Sam screams.

"Oh what words are there coming out of your mouth. A young boy really shouldn't use such bad language. You know what let's make the time waiting for them a bit sweeter.", he says pulling a knife out of his pocket.

Grabbing one of Sams arms he pulls the dagger of it, making a deep cut and Sam scream in pain.

_______________________________________

Dean P.O.V.

It had been two hours since Sam disapeared and after driving through the whole town, looking in every corner of it for his brother, Dean finally concluded that it probably would be the best to get back to the motel. Maybe Sam was already back.

Getting out of the Impala walking to the motel room door, Dean notices that it is unlocked. Alarmed he grabs the gun in  his pocket, listening for any noises. Maybe Sam forgot to lock the door, but that wouldn't be like him.  
One of the first rules that their Dad  teached them, was to always lock the doorsn to make it harder for enemis to get in even if they themself where armed.

Pointing the gun at the door, Dean slowly pushes it open.  
On the first look the room, looks normal. 

"Sam? Sammy? Are you there.", Dean calls.

Still on alert he slowly creeps nearer to his and Sams bedroom. Pushing the door open with a bang, the older Winchester strides into the room looking around with his gun ready to fire.  
As soon as he enters the room he smells the blood. On the bed of the younger Winchester lys the jacket of his brother , coverd in blood, a not pinned to it with a knive.

Tembling he takes a  wobbly step to the bed, pulling out the knive with shaking hands.  
Reading the note, which one contains one short sentence and an adress.

You  missed one.

The old barn  
32 Riverstreet  
98878 Littlecreak

Still tembling Dean pulls out his phone, dialing the number of his Dad.

After a minute he picks up saying:" Dean what is it? I am busy right now. Bobby called he maybe has a job for us."

With a dead sounding voice Dean only says 3 words.

"They got Sammy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter took longer,then I planned it to take. I actually had written about 900 words already, but then I was kind of busy and couldn't continue writing.
> 
> I only wanted to publish something that I was completly happy with, which is the reason this chapter took longer then the previous ones.  
> I hope you all understand and like the turns the story is taking. ;)  
> And maybe leave a comment, if you enjoy it ♡


	4. Chapter 4

Dean P.O.V.

10 Minutes had passed since Dean called John and even trough every bone of his body arched to get to Sammy as quickly as possible, he couldn't move.  
His eyes kept darting from the bloddied jacket to the note in his hands.

'This is my FAULT. My fault alone. If I hadn't picked up this girl in the bar down in town, Sammy would still be here.', he thought.

When he had read the note he wanted to jump into the impala and save Sammy imediatly. The only thing that stopped him was, that he knew that this monster only wanted him to do exactly this.  
This was a trick, the thing wanted to lead him and his dad into a trap, using Sammy as his bait.  
He probably had it all planned it out and running into this blinded by emotions, only would get Sam hurt even more.

'Yeah hurt, if he even is still alive.', a terrible voice says in his mind. He tries to push it from his mind, but flashes of pictures with a hurt Sam calling for Dean to save him kept apearing. The worst ones, where the ones of hin finding Sams little body lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood.

He couldn't lose him. Not his Sammy. His little pain in the butt brother, that always was by his side.

Dean rememberd the day his mum told him that he got to be a big brother and letting him feel her belly with little Sammy in it. He rememberd holding baby Sammy in his arms for the first time and swearing to himself, to protect him forever. He rememberd running out of their burning home pressing Sammy to his chest, protecting him from the flames and smoke. He rememberd everything, every minute he spent with Sam watching him grow up. Watching Sam becoming the boy he was now. 

His youngest brother was the most important person in his life and no one could ever replaise him. He was what gave Dean the stengh to keep fighting. The way Sammy smiled, when he saw him come back savely from a hunt. Hearing Sam tell him about something new he learned in school.  

He maybe teased his brother for being such a geek, but in reality he was so proud of him. Proud of his little so intelligent brother.  
His father maybe had his differences  with Sam, but for Dean he was perfected. He knew that Sam wasn't made for this life and this was the reason him and Dad fought all the time. And even through he wished for nothing more than for Sam to stay by his side, he also wished for Sam to have a normal life.  
He wished for him to have a family, go to school and do boring normal stuff, other boys his age did.  
He deserved so much better. He didn't deserve to ride from town to town, killing monsters and  not getting to be a kid. 

Dean always tried to give him as much of a normal childhood as he could. A childhood like he had one, before his mum got killed and his had started this crazy hunt, for the thing thst killed her, but he knew it was only a pure excuse for a real childhood.

This life only brought pain and loss.

Silently a tear runs down his face.  
Then he hears the engine of a car in front of the motel and he snaps out of his trace and grabs the soiled jacket and note.  
He runs to the car of his father, getting to it just when John steps out.

"Dean whats with Sam?", John calls.

Wordlessly Dean hands him the jacket and note.  
Silently his father studies it.

Then with a dooming voice he shouts:"Where were you when this pest took him. Didn"t I tell you to look after him?!"

Dean can only look down on his hands mumbling, "Sorry." , over and over again.

"Did you hook up with some chick again and forgot your brother. I haven't said anything yet, but this really is getting out of hand.", John says enraged.

Hearing this words Dean looks up, grabbing his head, an utter look of pain painted on his face.

"I didn't mean to...Sammy shouldn't have been back yet....I didn't want him to.....what if he...", Dean stutters not being able to say the last words.

He couldn't, no he wouldn't accept that Sam maybe was already dead.

"Forget it, we now have to get your brother. I wonder were this pest hid, when we cleaned out the nest?...Whatever,get in the car.", John commands.

While driving the Impala John instructs Dean, how they would act, when they arived at the hideout of the vampire.  
Dean listens, holding Sams jacket in a firm grip. He wouldn't mess this up again, they would rescue him....

_______________________________________

When they arived at the adress, they slowly and carefully made their way up to the old barn.

Showing Dean with handsigns to slowly get to the  back of the barn, do that they could get a view through one of the holes in the wall of the barn, to get a better view of the situation first.

Silently they peared through the hole.  
What Dean saw inside made his blood boil, with anger. In the middle of the barn his baby brother was tied to pole, bleeding from several wounds all over his upper body, apearing to be unconscious.  
The only thing that stopped him bursting through the rotten walls of the barn, was the firm grip John had on the back of his shirt.

"Wait!", he commended firmly.

He immediatly shut up, when he heared the monster speak:  
"Oh Sweety, maybe you were right and they really wont show up. It has been quite some time, since I left them my "note" and still they haven't showed up. Seems like your dear brother Dean, doesn't love you as much as I thought."

Hearing this words Deans fingers tighten so much around his blaid, that his knuckles turn white.

"Maybe I just should enjoy time with you more. Your blood smells so delicious.... I only refrained myself from tasting it yet, because I wanted to do it in front of you dear little family, but since it doesn't seen like they will show up soon.... Why don't we just get to it? ", the vampire speaks and evil smile playing on his lips.

Laying his hands on Sams shoulders, he pushes his head to the side, revealing Sams pale neck, making the youngest Winchester wimmer.

With this breaks the last string to hold Dean back and he kicks at one of the already weak planks of the barn, making it shatter. 

"GET AWAY FROM HIM.", Dean shouts with a voice shaking from anger, storming to the creature.

Pulling out a knive and pressing it to Sams neck the creature laughs:" Nanana, who is there so angry. Why don't we all calm down a  bit or maybe little Sammy, will get hurt even more.."

"You son if a bitch, get away from him. You can have me, but leave Sam out of it.", Dean shouts at th monster.

"Ah Dean, Dean, Dean, don't you get it?! I get you all. You, your daddy and of course your dear little baby brother. Did you really think, I didn't know you and your Daddy hid behind that wall?", the man says laughing," Since you offerd yourself so kindly already come nearer, then maybe I let Sweety here life a bit longer. Ah and also would you be so kind to drop this stupid weapon of yours" 

With slow dragging steps Dean walks to the creature, letting his weapon fall on the dusty floor of the barn. 

When he finally reaches the creature, it brings its mouth to Deans ear and wispers:" I bet you and your Dad didn't expect, that you missed one of us. You killed my family and now I am going to erase yours."

"Yeah we didn't expects this, but do you know what also is a surpise? THIS...," and with this Dean rams the the syringe filled with dead mans blood, he hid in his sleeve into the side of the monster.

"What did y...ou doooo" , the vampire screams out and falls to the ground.

Dean pics up his knive and walks to the man coiling up on the ground in pain.

"This is for Sammy!", and with these words he cuts of the head of the vampire, killing it.

"Dean I told you to wait!", the older Whincester hears the voice of his father shout, but he doesn't care, the only thought on his mind is Sammy.

Carefully he loses his chains and lays him on the ground, supporting his neck. His whole arms are coverd it lighter and deeper cuts, his chest barely lifting up from breathing anymore.

"Sam, Sammy come on wake up. I am here, your safe.... come on please wake up. Don't do this to me, you can't leave me.... Sammy.", Dean says with tears streaming down his face.

_______________________________________

Sam P.O.V.

My whole body hurts, the creature really hadn't lied, when he said that he would have some "fun" with him.  
The first cuts he had handled pretty well, but the more he got, the more the bloodlose had weakend him, until he became unconscious.

Feeling someone softly shaking him, Sam began to fight the darkness, that sewed his eyes shut and ties to pull him in to the soft arms of the unconscious again.

The more he fights, the clearer he starts to hear someone call his name.  
Dean calling his name.

"Sammy, wake up. Sammy, please just wake up. I am so sorry. Please don't leave me."

With every stengh he got left in his body, Sam slowly opens his eyes, seeing Deans tear-streaked face above him, feeling the tears drip onto his face.

"Sammy.", Dean calls, his face lighting up, but still showing the pain underneath it.

"Deannn...", Sam says with a weak voice, his vision getting dark again.

"Don't speak, I am going to take care of you. I am never going to let something like this happen ever again!", Dean says pressing Sam ro his chest.

As Sam sinks into the warm sheets of the darkness again, he feels someones lips kiss his forehead and a voice saying:

" I am not going to leave you. I stay by your side forever, Sammy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope all of you enjoyed this new chapter. This one really progessed pretty quickly and I am glad I can update this quickly.
> 
> I am writing this in the middle of the night, so please forgive me, if I made some mistakes, I will corect them in the following days.
> 
> The next chapters will take place at Bobbys house and will contain much more fluff, embarrassing moments, axiety and so on. (It turnes out the next doesn't takke place at Bobbys, but in the Impala :D )
> 
> If you liked it so far, maybe give me a feedback ♡


	5. Chapter 5

P.O.V. Sam

Sam wakes upto the feeling someone stroking his hair and a stinging pain all over his body.

When he tries to get up, to get a clearer view of his surroundings, a harsh pain strikes him, making him groan: "Uggghhhh." 

"Gentle Sammy, don't try to get up, your wounds will open up again.", Sam hears Deans voice saying from above him, feeling a hand softly push his shoulders back down.

Only then Sam realizes that he had been lying on Deans legs the whole time and finally with his vision getting clear again seeing his brother looking worried down on him.

"Dean, what happend? I was in the barn with this thing and then I don't remember. I must have blacked out at some point. What happend while I was unconcious?", the hazel eyed boy askes, tensing up a bit.

"Sam, I am so sorry... I can't even say how sorry I am. This is all my fault if I hadn't... you know with this chick.... shit... this never would have happend.", Dean says rubbing his temples with a pained expression on his face.

Remembering what happend earlier that day, a shadow crosses Sams face. He pushes the bad thoughts that come bubbling up to the surface back, remembering that this is not important at the moment and that he can think later about this. 

"That's not important at the moment Dean. What about the Vampire, what happend to him?", he asks

Leaning back in the drivers seat John finally makes his pressence know to Sam: "Your brother cut his head off and this finsihed him. We used dead mans blood before to weaken it. 

Hearing this Sam visbly relaxes letting his head sink more into Deans lap, realixing that Dean was still stroking head, making him blush. Luckily it was already dark outside, so that none of the others noticed the younger Whinchesters red tinted cheeks.

"How did this monster get you anyway? Haven't I taught you anything? Why do you go wandering around alone in a place you don't know?", John demands from the drivers seat.

Stopping to stroke Sams head, Dean interruptes Sam, when the younger Whincester trys to start to explain.

"It is my fault dad. I made a mistake.... I brought this girl back to the motel.... I thought that Sam wouldn't be back so soon....I am so sorry... It was just dumb of me.", Dean states looking at the seat in front of him distressed and embarressed.

"It was dumb of you Dean. You are the older one, I expect better things from you! This thing with the girls is getting out of hand. I don't care if you use them, to destress a bit, but don't bring them back home. You should know better then bringing strangers back into the motel!", John says with a dooming voice, making Dean shrink even more," And Sam, it might be your brothers fault, but you aren't a little kid anymore, you know you shouldn't wander arround alone like this. Your brother and me can't always keep your back. You are old enough and need to learn how to take care of yourself!"

Being told of like this none of the two brothers dares to say a word and the only thing breaking the silence is the impala driving over some sloops in the road.

Finally John breaks the silence: " Since that pest wounded you so badly I decided we are going to spend a few weeks at Bobbys. He knows a doctor that can properly check on your injuries and keep quit." 

Hearing these words, Sam and Dean start to relax again and Dean continues stroking Sams head.

Suddenly feeling really exausted again Sam starts to drift down into the soft arms of sleep again, feeling sothed by the soft strokes of Deans hand in his hair.

________________________________________________________________________________

Dean P.O.V.

As Dean looks down to his little brother face, he realizes that the younger boy had fallen asleep. Dean can't help but notice, that in his sleep he looks older and younger at the same time. His face is relaxted making him look younger, but his body already started to grow into the one of a men. Of course he is still smaller then Dean, but his legs are bent and his body is barely fitting on the backseat anymore. Wasn't it not long ago that Sam could still comfortaly fit on it streatching his legs out fully? When had he grown this big? Looking down on him Dean notices how Sams soft frame, has become harder and more angular like a mens. 

Letting the hand that he had been stroking Sams hair with glide down to his neek, Dean realizes that it also has become wider and nicely formed. He feels the muscels under it, wondering how much it would still change in the future. A part of him wanting to know what will become of Sam, the other mourning the child Sam, knowing that in the future they probably wouldn't be as close as they were in the past. 

Sam already had started to distance himself from Dean, had he in the past clung to Dean like a shadow, not leaving his side. Dean understood this of course, since he knew feeling of wanting to be more independet too. Teenage Sam of course didn't want to kling to his older brother anymore, thought Dean. He probably would distance himself from Dean even more in the future and this thought made something stir inside of him. He didn't want to lose his brother. He and Sam had been a team ever since they lost their mum, no even before. Nothing was as important for Dean as Sam. The thought of losing Sam made his inside grow cold and reminded him of the terrible events today. Rememberring e tensed up, causing Sam to stir in his sleep. Realizing this Dean put his hand back into Sams hair stroking the younger boys hair, causing the boy to relax again in his sleep.

Because of his shifting Sams shirt had ridden up a bit revealing his colarbone and a patch of skin on his hip. Seeing this Deans eyes were immediatly glued to the patch of skin. following the curve of his collarbone, the older Whincester couldn't help but admire how soft Sams skin looked. Carefully not to wake the younger boy, he lets his hand slide down again running his finger over the hard curve of the boys colarbone, barely touching his skin. Sam's skin felt even softer then he imagined. Not being able to resist the temptation he slowly lais his other hand and on the patch of naked skin on the boys hip, feeling the warmth of his skin. Forgetting where he is Dean starts to make small circles on Sams hip with his tumb, playing with the rim of his shirt.

Then suddenly the impala hits a really deep sloop in te road causing Deans hand to glide under Sams shirt and brusing over one of the severall cuts, bringing Dean back into reality.

'What am I doing this is Sam! What have I've been tinking touching him like this?! Sam is hurt and I am thinking about how soft his skin is. What is wrong with me?!', Dean scolds himself mentally. 

Putting his hands on his jaket, that he had put over Sams bare arms, Dean stares out of the car window until the sun rises.

________________________________________________________________________________

Sam P.O.V.

Sam wakes up, feeling the first warm sunrays on his skin. Realixing he is still lying on Deans lap he quickly, but carefully gets up, remembering the pain from yesterday. 

"Carefull Sammy, or the wounds will open up again. Dad and me only fixed them provisionally. With the deeps of these cuts a real doctor has to check on them.", Dean says supporting Sams back.

Looking into the face of his big brother Sam realixes the dark rings under Deans eyes.

"Didn't you get any sleep last night Dean? Was it because I was lying on your lap? You could have woken me. I would have moved, so that you could have sat more comfortable.", Sam says looking worried.

"Ah no it's okay Sammy, I just was to pumbed from last nights fight, so I couldn't have sleeped anyway. Another thing Dad, how long is it till we are by Bobby. Sams wounds are pretty bad, so a doctor should take a look at them soon.", aks the blonde boy.

"We should be there in about half an hour. ", states John.

Noticing that Dean has moved away as as possibly from Sam on the cramed backseat of the impala, Sam wonders if he has done something wrong in his sleep.

'I am probably thinking to much. Maybe Dean is just tired and needs some space to relax.', he thinks watching Dean stare out of the window.

Not much later the impala rolls onto the front yard of Bobbys house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally updated again. I had been in a writers block for a while and didn't update because of this. 
> 
> I originally planned to already take place at Bobbys, but now it was just about the ride to him.
> 
> Please give me a feedback, if you enjoyed this new chapter and stay tuned for the next ;)
> 
> PS: This is a late night chapter again, so some spelling mistakes will be corrected in the following days \\(^-~)/


	6. Chapter 6

Dean P.O.V

When they arrived at Bobbys, John quickly jumped out of the car, meeting Bobby halfway through on the way to the house.

Meanwhile Dean got out of the car, carefully helping Sam stand up and supporting him, by laying an arm around his waist.

Dean could see how weak Sam was, even through the young boy tried to cover it up as much as he could.

Sam tried to walk alone, but Dean had to heavily support him and felt his younger brother press thightly against his side with every step. Feeling the body heat of Sam, made the older Winchester remember his inproper thoughts from last night, tinting his cheeks a light pink. Scolding himself he pushed the thought away, hoping everyone would think the physical stress of caring Sam was the cause of the redness.

'Seriously what is wrong with me, thinking about stuff like this...', Dean thought thightening the grip on Sams waist.

"John. What happend?", Bobby said aproaching the oldest Winchester,"You suddenly call me in the middle of the night, asking if your boys could stay a while, but don't mention how badly hurt Sam is? On the phone you said it was just some small injuries and now I see Sam unable to even walk alone. Explain yourself!"

"Well it wasn't worth mentioning last night. One of these vampire pests got hold of Sam, because he didn't listen to me again and was careless. Seems like he wanted revenge for us killing his companions."

"Not worth mentioning....", Bobby said shaking his head.

"It wasn't Sams fault! I was the one who screwed this up...", Dean said interupting the conversation of the two older hunters, feeling guilty that Sammy was now blaimed for his mistakes.

"Dean, it was not your fault. I -", Sam started to say, being disinterupted by his fathers dooming voice.

"Dean, yeah you also made your fair share of mistakes, but they don't erase Sams. You both should know better, then wandering around alone or bringing strangers home!", John declared looking disaproving at his sons.

"Well I think you scolded the boys enough John. Let's get Sam inside. Jimmy should be here soon. I only gave him a brief talk that one of your sons was hurt John, so I hope he did bring the right stuff to patch Sam up. This would have been easier if you just had informed me better last night, John!", Bobby said shaking his head pulling one of Sams arms over his shoulders and then him and Dean slowly started to walk to the house, heavily supporting Sam.

When they finally managed to get Sam in the house Dean gently layed him down on the big old leather couch in Bobbys living room, going so far as even supporting the younger Winchesters head, laying it down on one of the pillows and then sat down on one of the arms of the couch leaning his head against the cool leather.

"Dean I am not out of sugar you know? I can handle lying my own head down, you know?!", the hazel eyed boy said amused.

Dean would have believed Sam, hadn't he noticed the flash of pain cross over the younger boys face, when he placed him on the couch. Dad and Bobby probably hadn't noticed, but Sam couldn't fool Dean. The older brother knew his little brother to well and he especially knew that Sam would play it down when he was in pain, since he didn't want to trouble him and Dad.

Dean hated that Sam felt the need to hide his pain. Other teenage boys may also have played down pain, but only when it was some minor ingury and if it was something bigger they cried and complained just the same way they did, when they were children.  
And now there was his brother forcing himself to be strong, after being cut up by a bloody vampire. This wasn't right!

Struck by a sudden inpulse Dean grabbed Sammys hand, carefull to hide their locked hands from the eyes of Bobby and his father, knowing that Sam wouldn't want them to see.

Dean saw Sammy look bewildert at their hands and then at Dean and for one moment thought he did something wrong, but then he felt the hand of his brother close tightly around his, squeezing it ones.  
Feeling reassured he relaxed again, feeling the warmth of Sams hand.

Even through the younger Winchester trained with John and Dean, his hand felt imcredible soft against Deans, fitting into his perfectly.

'What am I thinking about?! What kind of older brother normaly thinks about how soft their brothers hands are', the older Winchester scolded himself.

'Well normally brothers wouldn't hold hands like this anyway. At least not at our age', Dean thought,'But well, I mean this is a special situation, Sammy is hurt! If holding his hand helps him, who cares. It is just normal that I happen to notice how soft it feels.'

'Keep telling yourself that, we both know this isn't the whole truth', a small voice in his head said, just as the doorbell rang.

Opening the front door, Bobby returned to the living room being followed by a tall red haired men in his 40s.

'This must be Jimmy', Dean thought, quickly getting up from the couch to make room for the doctor. Unfortunaly getting up meant letting go of Sammys hand, since Dean could hardly hold on to it standing up. Disconnecting their intangeld hands the older Winchester immediatly began to miss the warmth of his brothers hand.

"This is Jimmy, John I think you two already met sometime in the past.", Bobby said introducing the unfamiliar men.

"A yes I think we met a few years back, when I hunted a Rugeru down in Georgia", John said shaking hands with the red haired men.

"Bobby told me your son was injured last night? Well let me look at him and see what I can do.", Jimmy said striding over to the leather couch to look at Sam.

Apon reaching the couch Jimmy introduce himself again and then started to inspect Sammys injuries.

"What did you say injured him, John?", Jimmy askey inspecting an especially deep cut on Sams arm, which made Deans stomach turn.

"Vampire. I already checked, he wasn't bitten, but that pest seemed to enjoy playing with his prey. Me and my oldest killed his nest and he wanted revenge for that.", John stated.

"Ah...yeah it seems this fellow was rather vicious.", the men said further inspecting Sammys wounds.

"Would you mind helping me get his shirt of, it seems like he also has injuries on the rest of his uper body.", Jimmy asked Dean and together they gently pulled the shirt over the youngest Winchester head, revealing red crusted cuts of differnt size and depht spread all over his chest. In brought daylight the injuries looked even worse, then last night and  
Dean suddenly felt the urge to throw up, seeing how badly hurt Sam was.

"Oh yes, this really doesn't look so good. I am going to have to clean these up a bit. Tell me when it hurts to much,Sam.", the doctor said to Sam, who answerd with a nod of his head.

Rummaging through his bag he pulled out some clean cloths and then said to Bobby:" Would you be so kind and bring me bowl full with lukewarm water."

"Yeah, no problem.", Bobby answerd, going into the kitchen.

Dean heard the sink being turned on and 2 minutes later Bobby returned with a half filled medium sized steel bowl.

Jimmy thanked Bobby and then proceeded to clean up the cuts on Sams body.  
Dean could see how much his brother struggeld to keep himself from whimpering, whenever Jimmy cleaned up an especially deep cut.  
He could see in how much pain his brother was and was tempted to stop Jimmy, but he knew the wounds needed to be cleaned or they couldn't be treated appropriatly.  
When he saw tears from in the corner of his little brothers eyes, he sat down on the arm of the couch again and quietly slipped his hand into Sams, unnoticed by the surrounding adults.

He saw Sam look up thankfully to him and started to draw little circles with his thump on the back of Sammys hand in attempt of calming him down.  
Dean felt Sams head press against his thigh and could have sworn he saw the younger boy go a bit red.

'What am I thinking?! He is getting his freaking wounds cleaned out, which probably hurt like a bitch. Of course he is getting redder from the stress. Seriously what is wrong with me lately? I shouldn't project my own sick thoughts on Sammy.', Dean thought, feeling disgusted with himself, looking away from Sammy and out of the window.

_______________________________________

Sam P.O.V

He couldn't believe it Dean was holding his hand and not for the first time this day.  
Of course it wasn't the first time Dean had held his hand, when they were younger he always held his older brothers hand, walking along side him, but they obviously hadn't done that in years.  
Sam was now far to old to walk around holding the hand of his brother.  
It really had startled him, when Dean hat slipped his hand into Sams earlier, but he had been thankfull for it. The cuts all over his body hurt everytime he even slightly moved it. He had tried to play it down and for sure this had worked with Bobby and his dad, but not with Dean. Of course Dean had noticed that Sam was just playing it cool.  
Sam wonderd how he could have even thought of being able to fool his brother. Dean, even through it didn't look like it, always payed close attention to Sam. Ever since he was a baby Dean was the only one Sam could depend on fully.

Feeling Dean now draw tiny circles on the back of his hand made him forget the pain of the wounds for a short while and his thoughts drift somewhere else.  
Deans hands were warm and bigger then his own, feeling just the right amount of rough. With each stroke of Deans thump Sam could feel the firmness of it, making his hand tingle.  
Sam knew that it was strange for him to think it, but he couldn't help prefering Deans big rough hand to a soft small girls hand.  
Of course soft hands felt nice too, but there was something about Deans hand that made his insides grow warm. The older boys hands were so firm, from the many hours he spend training together with Sam and their father. He got them being by Sams side, fighting together with him and this made them radiate a warmth, that wasn't compareble to the ones of others.  
Wanting to be even closer to Dean Sam snuggeld up against the thigh of his brother. Feeling the warmth of it made Sam go slighly red and he hoped everybody would think the reason for this was the physical pain.

When Sam noticed that Dean pointly looked away, as soon as Sams head touched his thigh, he felt his heart tighten painfully.

'What I am doing here. Dean is my brother and in generell not the touchy type. Now I made him uncomfortable.', Sam scolded himself for his inproper thoughs.

What made this even more painfull, was that Sam knew, he wanted so much more. He wanted to be so much closer to his his brother. Even closer then he allowed himself to think about or had even yet to realize.

He was surprised that Dean hadn't retreated his hand, but was glad for it, when Jimmy said he was finished with cleaning up the wounds, setting the bowl, with the now dark red tinted water aside.

"Ok Sam, most of your wounds are small enough to be just bandaged like this,but some need to be swen together to be properly patched up. I am going to give you something, that will make you sleep for a bit. When you when you wake up, you should already feel a bit better.", Jimmy said, laying needle and thread onto a clean cloth on the table.

Sam saw Deans head whip around and he heared the worried undertone, when the older brother said: " What are you giving him? Is this necessary? Can't you just give him something against the pain."

"Don't worry, Dean. It is ok.", Sam said looking up to Dean.

"Dean, let Jimmy do his work. He knows far better what is to be done, then you.", Johns said from the other side of the room.

"It's ok, John. He is just worried about his little brother. Aren't you, Dean.",Jimmy said directed to Dean now,"But don't worry I am just giving him a light anesthetic, so that he doesn't have to go through the pain of the stitching."

Hearing this, Sam could see Dean relax a bit again, but there was still a worried expression painted on his face.

This brought a small smile onto Sams lips, thinking that Dean was really easy to read sometimes. The older Winchester, always had a harder time hiding his emotions, especially when he was angry or worried.

Just when this happend, Jimmy pulled a needle out of his bag, telling Sam to straighten his left arm.  
When he felt the needle pierce his skin he tightend the hold on Deans hand for a moment before the anesthetic started to work.

The last thing he saw, was Deans worried face looking down at him, before he slipped into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay I finally updated again. I know I promised that I would upload the next chapter much earlier, but then well life happend. I suddenly had to move and find a new flat and for this reason didn't have any time or inspiration to write. I hope all of you can forgive me and enjoy this new chapter. 


	7. Chapter 7

Sam P.O.V.

When Sam awoke he felt better and worse at the same time. Yeah his wounds didn't hurt as much as they did before, but now he felt dozy, his head being clouded from the anesthesia.

"God, I hate anesthesia.", he said rubbing his head, growning

"Feeling good, baby boy.", Sam heared the amused voice of Dean say beside himself.

Opening his eyes, he saw his brother sitting beside him grinning broadly.

"Oh shut up, Dean!", Sam said, trying to sit up.

"Easy boy. Jimmy just patched you up, down ruin his good craftsmanship so soon.", Dean said, putting a hand on Sams shoulder, gently pressing him down onto his pillow again.

"Come on Dean, I want to stand up or at least sit up. What am I supposed to do all day laying in bed?"

"No standing up for you today. Jimmy said that you have to relax today and take it easy, so that your wounds don't open up again. I am sure you can handle staying a day in bed."

Sam gave Dean an annoyed look.

"Wow relax, Sammy. Look I even found you a book to read. Don't you always complain you never have enough time to read? Well now have got the rest of the day, to do just that.", Dean said holding up a copy of the first volume of Lord of the Rings.

"Lord of the Rings? Were did you get that, Dean?"

"Oh I've got it from Bobby. It seems like he got is as a present years ago and kept it on one of his his bookshelfs. He said it is good and that you would probably enjoy it too, if his opinion counted for anything."

"Bobby said that?"

"Yep, wanne have a look at it?", Dean asked, giving Sam the book.

Sam looked at the book, reading the text on the back. He of course had heared of Lord of the Rings from J.R.R. Tolkien, but he never felt that much of a need to read it. From the cover and what he had heared it seemed to be a Fantasy story with monsters and so on. Naturally he didn't feel that much of a need to read something like this, having enough monsters in his day to day life already. He could understand the appeal of Fantasy books for normal people, but well he and his family weren't normal. For other people the things that happend in these books where just a fantasy aquick escape from reality, but he knew what was out there and didnt really get something out of books romanticising vampires and other such things. 

But well if Boby liked it, maybe it wasn't so bad. He couldn't picture the older hunter liking some soppy fantasy lovestory.

"Well since I am going to spend the day in bed anyway, I can very well give it a shot.", Sam said opening the book.

"Good. So now be a good boy and read your book, while I go help Dad with a few things.", Dean said smirking, ruffling Sams hair, standing up arching, as if he had sat for a long time.

"Hey, don't treat my like a kid!", huffed Sam going slightly red, throwing a weak punch at Dean.

Dodging the punch Dean laughed:"Ok, ok. No need to get violent. I leave you alone with your book, Nerd."

"DEAN!"

Laughing Dean opend the door.

"Dean.", Sam said, just as Dean was about to leave the room, making him at stop in the doorframe.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"No problem, Sammy.", said Dean, leaving the room.

When Dean left Sam looked around in the room. It was the same room he and Dean always stayed in, when they visited Bobby. Nothing had changed, since the last time they had stayed here. Two single beds were standing on each side of the small room just a few meters away from each other, one being occupied by Sam at the moment, 2 bedside tables with 2 matching old lamps, a small bookshelf, which still contained some of Sams old toys, an old mirror and a cloc hanging on the wall.

Looking at the clock, Sam noticed that it was already 1 pm, which was weird, since they must have arrived in the early morning hours. Had he been asleep for such a long time? If he had been did Dean stay by his side the whole time? He seemed to have been sitting next to him for a while, when Sam woke up.

'He couldn't have sat there to long. I mean he had to get the book sometime, so he probably just came up up a few minutes before I woke up.', Sam thought.

After all he couldn't imagine, why Dean would spend his time watching him sleep. Alone the thought of Dean watching him in his sleep made his body tingle. 

The prospect of sleeping next to each other later today, didn't help his situation. It wasn't like they would be sleeping in the same bed, which they had also done in the past, after all sleeping in the same room was normal for them, but still the thought of sleeping here tonight unsetteld Sam. He still hadn't forgotten what happend in the motel room and even through Dean seemed to have forgotten what happend for teh moment, he for sure would want to talk about it with Sam sooner or later. 

'What am I supposed to say, if he asked why I didn't even stop running away , when he called me.'Sam thought, 

'Sorry Dean, I was so jealous of that girl under you , that I couldn't comprehend it. Yeah I can see how great this conversation would go.', Sam thought distraught, putting his hand over his eyes, ignoring the slight pain from bending his arms,

'What is wrong with me? I cant seriously want to be in place of this girl.', Sam thought,'I am probably just jealous of Dean, since nobody spares me even a look, when he is standing next to me. I mean who would, with the way Dean looks. '

Compared to Dean, the hazel eyed boy could't help but feel like an ugly duckling. Sam wasn't bad looking, but he was still a growing teenager. His limps felt to long and were gangly from his resent growth spurt, were on the other side Dean was already a grown men, with a nice build perfectly proportioned body. 

Whenever Dean entered a room full of people, the looks of the people followed him. Dean with his bright green eyes and short dark blond hair, that looked just the right amound of tousled.

But it wasn't just the physical aspects that made Dean attraktiv. Dean was charming, always saying the right thing, were on the other side Sam acted arkward.

But it wasn't only the interactions with strangers, no he handelt the interactions with their father so much better. Dean was the perfect son, always listening to their dad, never arguring, were as Sam was fighting with John all the time. He just couldn't blindly follow all of his fathers comands the way his odler brother did. 

He wished he could be like Dean, instead of questioning everything they did. He just couldn't help that they deserved better, that him and Dean and even his dad weren't supposed to life this. Sam had no memorys of his mother, but he couldn't imagine she would have wanted this life for her two sons and her husband.

He obviously couldn't tell his father this, because it would have only caused another fight and in the end lead to nothing. After all his mother also probably didn't magine she would die so young, leaving behind her young husband and sons.

In the end it always was Dean who calmed down the two hotheads.

'Because he is the perfect son...', sighned Sam.

Shaking his head, he decided nothing would come of him musing this now and opened the book once again beginning to read.

____________________________________________________________

Many hours had passed, when Sams stomach started to rumble loudly. He had been so immersed in Lord of the Rings, that he hadn't even noticed how hungry he was until now.

Even through he still wanted to continue reading, he could't ignor his growling stomach anymore. Laying down the book he looked up to the clock on the wall, which now read 6.12pm.

He couldn't believe that he hadn't ate anything in over a day. Normally he would have already passed out from hunger. Ok maybe not passed out, but he was still a growing teenager and for that reason kind of hungry all the time.

Hearing his stomach growl once again, he contemplated if he should try calling someone or ignore what Dean said an just get something to eat himself. Just when he decided, that it probably better if he would go downstairs himsself, since presumably nobody would hear him call anyway, Sam heared somebody come up the stairs. 

Seconds the door to his room was pushed open and Dean entered caring a plate with 2 sandwiches and a glass of water.

"I thought you could be hunry, Sam.", Dead said, handing over the plate to Sam and setting the glass down on the table.

"Damm right I am hungry, Dean.", Sam muttered, one of the sandwiches already being half in his mouth.

"Manners, Sam.", Dean said smirking.

"Oh shut up.", Sam said swallowing the rest of the first sandwich, flushing it down with with a big sip of water.

It was then when Sam realized how thirsty he was and he quickly drank out the full glass.

"Thirsty? Wait a sec I get you another glass", Dean said, grabing the glass and filling it up again in the bathroom next door.

"Here you go.", the blond said, giving Sam the new glass.

"Thanks", said Sam and then took another sip, before he set down the glass on the bedsidetable continuing eating the 2 sandwich.

"I would have brought you someting sooner, but Jimmy said that you should wait a few hours, before you eat something again."

"No problem, I wasn't really hungry before anyway."

"And did you like your book?", Dean asked, when Sam had finished the second sandwich. 

Hearing this Sam sat up, before realsing what he had done, but since Dean didn't say anything against it, he just leaned back against the headboard of his bad, rather then laying down completly again. 

"It is sooo good! I mean at first I was skeptical, because yeah well it is a Fantasybook and we both know the truth about all these things out there, but this book is completly different. The story is so complex and fascinating. Does Bobby have volume 2 and 3 too?", Sam asked looking exited.

"You probably have already read the entire thing, haven't you?!", Dean said grinning,"Bobby does have the other Volumes, too. I can bring them up later."

"I haven't read the entire book, just 2/3 of it."

"Knew it. You are such a nerd.", Dean said smirking.

"I am not a nerd, I just like reading. You should read more yourself, you know to educate yourself.", Sam said smirking at Dean.

"Eduacate myself?! Ohhh you little Mister Iknowitall.", Dean said ruffling Sams hair roughly.

Sam knew he normally would have earned a light punch for this and the only reason Dean didn't do this now, was because the older Winchester was well aware of the wounds all over Sams uper body and didn't want to hurt him further. 

Sams heart swelled at this knowledge and the huffy look he have Dean for ruffling up his hair, wasn't entirely sincere.

Dean laughed at the huffy expression on the younger Winchesters face and Sam couldn't help himself thinking, how beautifull his brother looked like this. The going down sun was shinning on Dean, making his hair shine and golden spots dance in his green eyes. 

He almost looked like he was glowing and for one second Sam thought:'He looks like an angel.'

Then his train of thoughts was disinterrupted by Deans voice calling his name.

"Sam, everything ok? You have been staring at me for a few minutes now."

Hearing this Sam quickly looked down, clenching his hands in his lab, blushing, hoping that Dean wouldn't notice it.

"Sam?", Dean asked again.

"Ah yeah everything is fine, I think I am just a bit exhausted.", Sam lyed, still blushing.

"Oh ok, do you want to sleep a bit or should I bring up the other 2 volumes of Lord of the Rings, too?", Dean said.

Sam felt guilty for lying to his brother, but he couldn't very well tell him why he had stared at him.

"Yeah, I think I am going to continue reading a bit."

"Ok, then I bring you the other books.", Dean said and with this words disappeared through the door, returning 4 minutes later with the other 2 books.

"I am going downstairs again,Bobby asked me to help him with something. If you need help with anything just call, I am right bellow.", Dean said and left the room once again.

When Dean pulled close the door Sam let out a deep breath, thinking what a close call that was. He had to be carefull with his actions in the future, since what ever that was, what he felt for Dean, definitly wasn't normal. 

'What was that just now. Why did I stare a him like this? What if Dean noticed? He would be disgusted with me.',Sam thought leaning his head against the headboard of his bed and closing his eyes. He send a prayer out in his mind, that Dean wouldnever find about what ever this was he was feeling for Dean lately, since he was sure it would drive Dean away and Sam could't live without him.

'Please don't let him notice, please!', he thought all over again and again, slipping into a light slumber, the book falling out of his hand and onto his blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After it took me forever to post the last chapter, I can't believe I finished this new one in less then a day.  
> As you can see my story builds up extremly slowly, since it is really important for me to show the emotinal growth of Sam and Dean and their struggle to come to terms with their feelings.  
> I still hope you enjoy it and as always I would be happy if you gave me some feedback about the new chapter :).


End file.
